Perspicacious Penner

I was 15 when I locked the bathroom door behind me at my then-boyfriend's house and stared at myself in the mirror with an empty expression. Like many, I hated the sight of myself. I hated the sight of my self-cut shag and mascara smeared under my eyes from day-long wear. Luckily for me, hate and love are two sides of the same coin. I fought back tears as I looked to the right of my reflection and spotted the medicine cabinet. I didn't hesitate long before I looked inside. To no surprise, considering my boyfriend was of an immigrant family, all the bottles were in Spanish. I almost felt comforted by the idea that I couldn't read what they said as my Spanish was (and still is) so limited. It was a gamble. I could down a bottle now and not know if it would kill me or not. Somehow, I knew it wouldn't.  On the daily, we cross paths with many animals--especially birds who fly and squirrels who climb trees faster than a sneeze. Sometimes I wonder what drives them to live. Wha...

 "Mom, I can buy us some blankets from Bed Bath & Beyond if we have to sleep outside." I reached for the Velcro wallet in my back pocket. I was prepared to fish out the $50 gift card my grandparents had sent me for Christmas when my mother defensively retorted, "Brittney, we're not sleeping outside tonight." This very stern and seemingly annoyed response came after I had already seen her in tears over using her last 2 quarters on a payphone to make a phone call to the friend we came to the mall with--the friend whom we thought had left us stranded.  Luckily, after being in a state of panic for about an hour, we found that friend in the Mission Valley Mall parking lot and I got to sleep in a bed--or maybe on a floor or a couch. Either way, we went to a  home . My memory has a tendency to fail me as is what happens with trauma, but I believe I was around 9(?) years old during this specific incident. Before that, we'd already lived with 4 different family f...